Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize