I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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