I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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