he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
