I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
