Pappa wants mamma naked
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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