did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
