they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
