are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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