Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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