Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i think my cat just said my name.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
