Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
