Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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