hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
