What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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