Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
