she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
