I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
