What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
