It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
