I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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