im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
