i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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