did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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