I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
