She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
