Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
