I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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