I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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