do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize