Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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