I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
