I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
