I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
