I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
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She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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