The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need water and some morals
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
