Where did you get a picture of my penis
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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