I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize