Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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