Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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