This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My life is pants optional.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
