I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
