I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize