I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
