just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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