what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
