I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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