Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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