I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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