So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
