Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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