I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
