Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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