I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
