Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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