It's Friday. Sex?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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