Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
