you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize