After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
