batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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