In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
