I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
