I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
