i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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