I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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